


No Good Deed Goes Unteased

by Carrieosity



Series: Tumblr Bunnies and Ficlets [7]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 50 States in 50 Days Challenge, Discussion of masturbation, Embarrassment, M/M, Sex Toys, Tumblr Prompt, Vibrators
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 10:06:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11415642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carrieosity/pseuds/Carrieosity
Summary: Cas was just trying to be helpful when he unpacked Claire's bag.





	No Good Deed Goes Unteased

**Author's Note:**

> For the [50 States in 50 Days](http://justanothersaltandburn.tumblr.com/post/160786544346/hey-lovely-followers-i-have-some-exciting-news) Tumblr challenge! I was given the state of Maryland, and my random sex toy assignment was a Finger Vibe. Took me a while to decide on a direction to go, but I couldn't resist this one once I thought of it. (Sorry about the secondhand embarassment.)

She had bruises she was obviously trying to hide, and she was clearly more exhausted than she wanted to admit, but that was fine. Dean could understand the urge to tough it out, to hide the winces and shove down the groans until you were all alone, away from prying eyes. Of course, he knew better  _now._  One of the unavoidable facets of being in a relationship with an angel was the inability to hide any of that shit, and he’d been repeatedly shown the benefits involved in letting people who cared about you see your weaknesses once in a while.

But, then again, he was also pushing forty. Either getting thrown into walls actually was hurting more than it used to, or else he was getting too old to pretend it ever hadn’t sucked so bad.

Claire, on the other hand, was still young enough to fake it, if not entirely convincingly. She’d allowed Sam to drag her to the kitchen for a solid meal while he debriefed her on the hunt that had sent her to Kingsville, Maryland, to the infamous Jericho Covered Bridge. The place had been built of urban legend on top of urban legend, but when a couple of those legends mentioned a red-eyed demon guarding it…well. But it had turned out to be something weirder - a Chiang Shih, which was apparently what you get in weird, unusual circumstances involving suicides, vampires, and demons thrown together. Whatever; Dean didn’t need to understand. It was dead, so Sam could handle the post-mortem paperwork.

Dean had followed Castiel, instead, who was hauling Claire’s bag to the room where she’d crash for a night or two before heading back to Jody’s. Dean had grabbed some clean sheets to make up the bed into something a little less musty smelling. While he worked on that, Cas started unpacking the duffel. Dean smirked; it wasn’t necessary, but maybe Cas was thinking that if he settled Claire in a bit, she’d stick around a little longer.

Dean hummed to himself, fluffing the pillows (shut up; ladies like that kind of thing, hunters or not), while Cas pulled out Claire’s toiletries and laid them neatly on the dresser. He was arranging her hairbrush, toothbrush, moisturizer–geez, she’d had more stuff than Dean had expected–and then frowned at the next item, obviously unsure what category into which it might fall for organization. “Dean, what is this?”

When Dean saw what Cas was holding, he had to fight back the impulse to knock it out of his hand. “Uh, you want to put that one back, buddy,” he stammered, flushing so hard and fast that his cheeks almost stung.

“Why? What is it?” Cas examined the small purple object he held, turning it over in his palm. “It appears to be some sort of jewelry, but I can’t imagine how she’d be able to use her hand effectively while wearing it.”

“Nnngh,” Dean said, mouth refusing to cooperate. Trying again, he said, “Not jewelry.  _Personal._  Like, really personal. Cas, put it down–”

_Bzzzzzzzz._  Startled, Cas fumbled the item; the knob on the bottom, when he’d bumped it, had caused the thing to begin vibrating strongly. He tilted his head, intrigued. “Could it be for tooth cleaning? You did tell me that toothbrushes were for personal use, I remember.”

“No, not…” Dean dragged a hand over his face. The buzzing was  _loud._ The little vibrator was apparently much stronger than it appeared, and he  _did not_  want to be thinking about this right now. Or ever. Not when that was Claire’s bag, in Claire’s room, and Claire’s  _very very private things._ His hands clenched open and shut as he warred with himself over grabbing it away or avoiding touching it himself.

“Dean,” Cas said, getting frustrated. He glared, tapping the vibrator against his palm with his other hand. “Will you  _please_  just tell me what the purpose of this is, so that I can put it where it belongs? You’re being ridiculous, and I have no idea why.”

“Guys?” Claire was frowning, coming in to see what the arguing was about. “What’s going…” The buzzing took a moment to register, but then her eyes lit on what Cas was holding, and she let out a small shriek. “What the  _hell_  are you two doing?”

Dean threw up his hands in defense. “Nothing! Not doing anything at all!”  _This is karma,_ he decided.  _This is the payback I get for messing with the condoms I found hidden in Sam’s bag when he was a teenager, decorating the hotel room with them._

Claire scowled, stalking forward to reclaim the vibe. Cas huffed, rolling his eyes. “We honestly weren’t doing anything, Claire, though I have no idea what it is we weren’t doing that is so upsetting. I was simply unpacking for you, but apparently whatever that object is has upset Dean so badly that he was unable to speak. I was beginning to wonder whether it was hexed, though I know you’d never carry a cursed object as carelessly as that.”

Finally silencing the vibrator, Claire paused a minute, turning an expression on Dean that was three parts aggravated, one part pure wickedness. “What, so intimidated by a little toy that you couldn’t even say what it was?” she said, narrowing her eyes. “Thought you were such a ladies’ man, Dean. You got a problem with a girl taking care of her own business? Kind of a double standard, isn’t it?”

Dean would have prayed for death, except Cas looked almost ready to answer that prayer. “Look, I’ve got no problem with women doing…that. I just, um…”

“Doing  _what,_ Dean? Touching myself? Getting myself off? We’re all adults here. If you can’t even say the word ‘orgasm,’ maybe you’re the one who shouldn’t be having them.” Her voice was still angry, but the glint in her eyes showed that she was rather enjoying watching him writhe.

Meanwhile, Cas, who wasn’t stupid, had come to the abrupt understanding of what he’d unearthed. He wasn’t blushing nearly as much as Dean was, but he did look wide-eyed and slightly mortified. “Claire, I am so sorry,” he began. “I never intended to intrude–”

“One of these days, you’re going to learn,” she said, cutting him off. “‘Personal space,’ wasn’t it? I mean, I’m not actually  _ashamed_  or anything. Not like it’s a big secret. People masturbate. Dean does, I’m sure.” She threw a nasty smirk in Dean’s direction. “Just, FYI? Next time you’re going through somebody’s stuff? Anything that looks suspiciously cute that goes ‘buzz’ should probably go in the bedside table drawer. You know, if you want to be helpful.” And with that, she stomped to the indicated drawer, threw in the vibe, and slammed it shut. Then, arms folded, she stared at them pointedly as they muttered quick good nights and fled.

Dean thought he heard a burst of laughter as the door closed behind them.


End file.
